


A Very AcDec Romance

by thepolyhedron



Category: Academic Decathlon
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 08:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11055180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepolyhedron/pseuds/thepolyhedron
Summary: Don't read this





	A Very AcDec Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Now that I've graduated the police can't get me   
> Hello to my AcDec crew!  
> Especially the ones still stuck in hell

It's the middle of night, and the party's still going. Akshay doesn't even know why he's here- he wasn't invited. He accidentally stumbled upon it while trying to find that nonexistent person to date him. He sighs- so alone, always so alone. So cold. Why can't he just find a nice person with good old fashioned pierced nipples? Why did his last girlfriend run away screaming into the night?   
He heads over to the bar- alcohol will soothe his troubled soul, surely.  
"Bartender, mix me one of everything you have- I'm sad, lonely and scared."  
The bartender looks at this obvious twelve year old, grunts, and goes back to polishing his glass.  
Leaning against the wall resignedly, he knows, deep in his nonexistent soul, that it's time to give up. And that's when he sees him.   
Across the room- who is that gorgeous specimen of man? That living god- that modern day Apollo?   
Oh god- he's looking this way.  
Their eyes meet- instant passion, friction. Akshay's never felt this way about another man before.   
The man walks over- oh no- what will Akshay say? He's not good with people- or living things in general.   
He's here.  
He reaches out his hand.   
"I came here to steal The Declaration of Independence- but maybe instead I could steal your heart?"  
Akshay feels his heart flutter in his chest.   
"W-well actually that wouldn't be safe because you see, you know, I need my heart to live because well the heart is an organ that pumps blood- um let me explain-"  
Oh God, he's rambling. He does this when he gets nervous, which is all the time. His last girlfriend ran away mid-rant- and now he could lose the love of his life.   
But the man just stands there smiling, looking endeared.   
He chuckles- and oh god, his laugh is the thing symphonies are made of.  
"Well, if I can't steal your heart, I'll just have to win it."  
Akshay's nose starts to bleed- how can one man possibly be so charming. He feels faint. Wait, did he take his vitamins today?  
"My name's Nic Cage- but please, call me The Cagester. And what can I call you?"  
"M-my name's Darius... but call me Dar Dar."  
Dar Dar Cage... oh, the name sounds wonderful.   
"Dar Dar... just like my favorite Star Wars character, Jar Jar Binks- it must be fate."  
Suddenly he looks concerned.  
"Dar Dar, your nose is bleeding- are you feeling alright?"  
Akshay sighs dreamily.  
"I feel like life is just a sweet dream... when I'm with you."  
The Cagester's smile widens.  
"Well, take this, at least- clean yourself up."  
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a folded up document, handing it to Akshay.   
Akshay unfolds it- ah, The Declaration of Independence. The Cagester had mentioned something about that- not just a good-looking man, but a talented one too.  
He wipes the blood off of his face, smearing blood all over the precious document, ruining it forever.   
"Thank you... Cagester."   
Nic blushes.   
"O-of course, Dar Dar-senpai."


End file.
